When a Plan Starts to Come Together

Or rather, when your dreams start to become actual plans... that is where I am.  After 6  months of anticipating a return back to Indonesia, it looks like a plan is forming.  It's taken a lot of patience for me not to let go of the dream.  It's not funny - how quickly it all snowballs together.  I wish I could plan months in advance, to know all of the ins and outs.  But life simply happens.  There's no way I could control it all, and there's no way I would be able to enjoy it to the fullest if I tried. For now, we're collecting donations of dry, watercolor paints and anticipate going to Indonesia at the end of July.  We're fundraising, yet again, and brainstorming for our 2nd Annual Creative Arts Camp in Indonesia.  Rujak Berkah, the "Fruit Salad" after-school program @ Polehan has grown.  They now include 15, 3-5 year olds.

Wading and Waiting

On Sunday, we announced to the families of KidsMosaic that I am
stepping up to coordinate for KidsMosaic Pasadena. This involves
babies through grade 5 at our 9:30 gathering. They say it's about
180 kids on any given week, though nearly twice as many on the actual
roster.

It's not a paying gig. So I'm still working multiple part time
jobs. This includes: the stationery store, private art classes -
traveling to their homes and nannying/babysitting. I've put my own
business aside for now. I've begun to pour more of that creativity
into wedding planning.

So far, we've settled on a date and location. I'm excited that we
will be able to celebrate under the night sky, on a rooftop in Los
Angeles. It will be a small, family wedding. We'll have orange and
white tulips. We'll have desserts.

For now, I'm trying to enjoy and challenge myself with where I am -
as opposed to where I'm headed. For now, I must remember that
everything I'm going through is not in vain. There is a plan and a
purpose. In that, I find solace. I eagerly await where I will be
living, what my job will entail, how I will pay bills, and what a
schedule will look like. But for now, I'm still wading in this murky
water, still waiting for a little more clarity and stability - still
walking by faith.

Refreshed

It's the tail end of Winter. My room is cold at night, but liberally
absorbs the warmth of sunlight throughout the day.

February was generally a cruel month. March has already proven a bit
more hopeful.

Job-wise, I'm in about the same predicament that I've been in since
the Fall: a handful of part-time jobs that simply pay the bills,
affording little leftover for luxury.

Rest-wise, I am finally finding my place and purpose for now. It's
refreshing and generally uneventful. But exactly what I need.

Even if it's just a few days or weeks of smooth sailing, I'll take
it! Moments even.

With a new pair of used cowboy boots, this Saturday I'll be dancing.
More on the story behind the boots later.

And then the plane crashed

So the day after the last post, the news came out about the plane that landed in the river, without casualty. "Passengers are rescued from US Airway Flight 1549 Airbus A320 jet after it crashed in Hudson River, New York." People still DO walk on water! The things God will do for me to know that He is listening...

Can someone just tell me what it's like to walk on water?

I've heard it's been done before, but I feel like it would simply
have to be a miracle. I feel like I keep sinking. I just can't seem
to let my foot simply rest without the feeling of solid mass
beneath. And so, instead, I hover in this place between flying and
walking on water. It's unstable, unsettling and nerve-wrecking all
at once. I'm hardly going anywhere without having to grab ahold of
something steady. Hardly able to move forward and scared to let go
of everything I think I know. Lucky thing I've gotten used to the
waves, at least that they clearly exist.

A Glimpse of My World

I was born in America.
My ancestors are Chinese.
My brothers claim we're part Irish.
My kindergarten class was bilingual, English and Spanish.
I discovered my passion in India and Benin.
I speak Indonesian, but apparently with a Korean accent.
My fiancé is German, Czechlosovakian, Cherokee,...
My cousin's moving to Turkey.

And in the middle of all this, I still feel lost. I've been back for
6 months now. Maybe it's phase 3 of readjusting: hating everything.
It's the new year. I'm supposed to be rejuvenated to have a fresh
start. Only, I find myself more disappointed, more unclear, and
more unsure about what's next.

When you've had one of the best, most thrilling parts of your life
come, well, to life, what's next?

After TX

After a great weekend in Texas, I'm back to work.  Spent the morning
getting things together for Friday and Saturday's show:
Strings of Christmas lights, stacks of plastic envelopes, cards,
business cards, flyers, brochures and postcards.  
Oh, have you even seen my new postcards?! (Do you remember this
painting, inspired by our float plane trip to Papua?) Rivers of
Papua, framed print for $40