Can someone just tell me what it's like to walk on water?

I've heard it's been done before, but I feel like it would simply
have to be a miracle. I feel like I keep sinking. I just can't seem
to let my foot simply rest without the feeling of solid mass
beneath. And so, instead, I hover in this place between flying and
walking on water. It's unstable, unsettling and nerve-wrecking all
at once. I'm hardly going anywhere without having to grab ahold of
something steady. Hardly able to move forward and scared to let go
of everything I think I know. Lucky thing I've gotten used to the
waves, at least that they clearly exist.

A Glimpse of My World

I was born in America.
My ancestors are Chinese.
My brothers claim we're part Irish.
My kindergarten class was bilingual, English and Spanish.
I discovered my passion in India and Benin.
I speak Indonesian, but apparently with a Korean accent.
My fiancé is German, Czechlosovakian, Cherokee,...
My cousin's moving to Turkey.

And in the middle of all this, I still feel lost. I've been back for
6 months now. Maybe it's phase 3 of readjusting: hating everything.
It's the new year. I'm supposed to be rejuvenated to have a fresh
start. Only, I find myself more disappointed, more unclear, and
more unsure about what's next.

When you've had one of the best, most thrilling parts of your life
come, well, to life, what's next?