New

In the past few months, many things have become new, including my last name, where I live, my laundry basket, my dishes and now my car.

Now married, I'm adjusting and still transitioning.

In our bedroom, we're putting up paintings from Indonesia. The one painting I've brought back to California is one by Citra. She's the oldest of at least 3 siblings - I think 4. When I first met her, she was very reserved. She would hardly ever smile. But over time, after showing up week after week, when I smiled specifically at her, she would (ever so shyly) respond back with a smile.

She was always reluctant when we would do art projects. Her style is simple. I think kids can tell, even in a different culture and with language barriers, when you're being sincere. When you tell a kid that their artwork is great, they look past the words in into your eyes.

We had an art gallery during Illuminate Indonesia 2008. The kids drew sea creatures and seaweed with oil pastels, then washed their pages with blue water color paint (my favorite mediums). I told her I liked her painting, but I don't think she believed me. So I told her that I wanted to take it home with me. She seemed shocked that I was serious.

By the time I left in 2008, she would smile at me. Still, her smiles for the camera would instantly switch from her genuine beaming smile to a simple stare. Part of me doesn't know if it's a cultural thing (where it's rude to show your teeth when you smile) or if she's simply reluctant to have her picture taken.

Having been back again in 2009, it's as if something changed. During my time away, her sister got ringworm. It spread from her legs and arms to her body. Honestly, it looked disgusting. And yet, after weeks of not being diagnosed, the solution was a simple cream. Maybe it was that Wenny was willing to look out for her, to make an honest effort to care for the practical needs. I'd imagine when your parents are MIA, having an outsider come in as a big sister to help means a lot.

Maybe it was just being away for a year that made me see how much she did smile. Or maybe she just wasn't so afraid of smiling any more.

Imagine, smiling being new... My new years resolution - smile (genuine/sincere smiles) more. That means my perspective must widen to see more of the little things to enjoy, to find how to be grateful, to keep my mind on "what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

What makes you smile? Please share.