Tired

A bit worn. A great deal encouraged. JT is going for 2 years. She has been wanting to go for over 10 years! The path before me has been paved, the way cleared. Encouraged, empowered. Still, fearful and anxious - yet totally supported... Much appreciated. So much. The waters are not exactly still, but I'm still walking through.

The Back Story

Why Art? Growing up in an artistic home, art was an outlet of expression. Although I wouldn’t become a great illustrator or painter, my soul is refreshed by color and shape. When I visited an orphanage in India (2000), my eyes were opened to the richness of my childhood. How great it would be to share this creative outlet with children who have even greater talent! Why Indonesia? Awed by the devastation of the 2004 Asian Tsunami, the children could not return to school, not because the schools had been demolished, but because there was no one to teach them. Teachers, parents, and siblings had died or been displaced. Children were alone. I knew I wanted to be a part of helping to rebuild the schools, if even years down the line. I encountered an article by an art therapist who went to help with the recovery. She simply used finger puppets to connect with the children, helping them to process their traumatic experience. While I knew that I wanted to connect with children through art, I didn’t have the expertise to help trauma victims. Many people were getting in the way of help due to their inexperience with such circumstances. At that time, the most helpful thing I could do was to simply not go. Still, my heart stirred for children such as these. One Sunday, in the Spring of 2005, a family from Indonesia came to visit KidsMosaic. After a few connections, we were on our way to visit this family in Indonesia. Paul, the founder and principal of Charis International School found out that I was a graphic designer. He introduced me to Spring Creative Center. At once, I was impressed by the children’s art projects, animated videos and illustrations for children’s literature. What an opportunity to use art to connect with children! Soon enough, my heart would long to return. Why this timeframe? I considered returning to help out at Spring for a month or two, but I would soon be stretched. From a couple months to 4, 6, and then 9 months, I could gently sense that I should return for one full year. Through each step, I was definitely resistant. Still, I couldn’t deny the gentle tugging at the core of my being, knowing that this is an opportunity of purpose.

House at Home and House Hunting

1. I like watching the show House. It's sarcastic. 2. The weather in California is warm and sunny. But tomorrow they anticipate rain. 3. Day 3 of being sick - again. If I'm not well on Thursday, I promised Yolanda that I'd go to the doctor. 4. Abby got another cast this week. It was just a few months ago that she broke her arm. She's 8. 5. Jennifer's begun our house hunting in Indonesia. That's so kewl!!!! But we have to pay for the full lease up front in February! No monthly payments. The bright side: Splitting home set up costs (the water heater, oven, refrigerator, etc.) with Jennifer and Jewels will cut a CHUNK out of my home set up expenses AND it will be set up for my arrival! I won't have to be bedless, sleeping on the floor when I get there! 6. WaHoo!!! (And not just the tacos)

A Ferry, a Ship, Hundereds of Souls

The day after Christmas 2004: Asia Tsunami. Over 220,000 died or missing. The day after Easter, March 2005: Nias/Sumatra Tsunami. 1,000 people died. May 2006: Mount Merapi Volcano spews ashes. 15,000 villagers flee their homes. May 2006: Java Earthquake. At least 5,800 died, more than 36,000 injured. June 2006: Sulawesi Flood/Landslide. 300 people died. July 2006: Java Tsunami. Over 600 died. December 2006: Java Ferry Sinks. 230 rescued, 398 missing. January 2007, 3 days later: Missing Plane, 102 aboard. My heart is malleable. Torn. This is how I know it has been turned from one of stone to one of flesh. My soul aches. In the depth of the darkness, I see the reflective moonlight. This is the glimmer of hope. In the painting of the ocean waters, the moonlight outlines the waves. In the vision of under the rubble of 9/11, the moonlight shone through the outline of the beams. A silent voice, still resilient. A life. Still alive. I'm certain there are many significant events in other places around the world. But I am hearing of peoples concern and interest as to what draws me *here*. I'm not exactly sure why Indonesia. But it seems clear to me that this is where I'm headed next. I'm not exactly scared about such events. Maybe it's because I was raised in California where earthquakes are unpredictable. Just living, thriving while I have today.

"Happy" New Year

On New Years eve, I had Chinese food for dinner with my family. We watched old home-made videos and had plenty of laughs. Ahhh, the memories. C= It was great to be surrounded with family at the countdown, anticipating that next year I'll be across the world. On New Years day, I went with friends to a Rose Bowl party at a house full of SC fans. There was a lot of energy in that game and though Michigan lost, I was fun to watch. The memorable "highlight" would have to be plans to play the Wii. Though, it didn't happen because shortly after dinner, half my body broke out in hives! Completely itchy and swollen, I eventually broke down and was taken to Urgent Care. I got a shot and within a couple hours, the itching had stopped and the swelling went down a bit. Definitely eventful. Not exactly MY idea of a "happy" new year, but it was most meaningful to be surrounded by people who love me. 36 hours later, my face is almost back to "normal" and other than drowsy from the medicine, I'm up and running. As I take the next few weeks to do a lot of regimenting (while still enjoying life, no doubt), I anticipate a whole new level of growth. As I've been leisurely celebrating the holidays, my house mates have moved to Malang. As they begin to settle in, defining their new roles and house searching, I am reminded that the path before me has been paved and my steps have been cleared. What an honor to be reminded of how well I am being taken care of at all angles. 2005, a year of prayer. 2006, a year of pruning. 2007, anticipating the fruit.