New

In the past few months, many things have become new, including my last name, where I live, my laundry basket, my dishes and now my car.

Now married, I'm adjusting and still transitioning.

In our bedroom, we're putting up paintings from Indonesia. The one painting I've brought back to California is one by Citra. She's the oldest of at least 3 siblings - I think 4. When I first met her, she was very reserved. She would hardly ever smile. But over time, after showing up week after week, when I smiled specifically at her, she would (ever so shyly) respond back with a smile.

She was always reluctant when we would do art projects. Her style is simple. I think kids can tell, even in a different culture and with language barriers, when you're being sincere. When you tell a kid that their artwork is great, they look past the words in into your eyes.

We had an art gallery during Illuminate Indonesia 2008. The kids drew sea creatures and seaweed with oil pastels, then washed their pages with blue water color paint (my favorite mediums). I told her I liked her painting, but I don't think she believed me. So I told her that I wanted to take it home with me. She seemed shocked that I was serious.

By the time I left in 2008, she would smile at me. Still, her smiles for the camera would instantly switch from her genuine beaming smile to a simple stare. Part of me doesn't know if it's a cultural thing (where it's rude to show your teeth when you smile) or if she's simply reluctant to have her picture taken.

Having been back again in 2009, it's as if something changed. During my time away, her sister got ringworm. It spread from her legs and arms to her body. Honestly, it looked disgusting. And yet, after weeks of not being diagnosed, the solution was a simple cream. Maybe it was that Wenny was willing to look out for her, to make an honest effort to care for the practical needs. I'd imagine when your parents are MIA, having an outsider come in as a big sister to help means a lot.

Maybe it was just being away for a year that made me see how much she did smile. Or maybe she just wasn't so afraid of smiling any more.

Imagine, smiling being new... My new years resolution - smile (genuine/sincere smiles) more. That means my perspective must widen to see more of the little things to enjoy, to find how to be grateful, to keep my mind on "what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise."

What makes you smile? Please share.

The Show

We had a good turn out for our sharing time. It was super refreshing to reminisce and share about our experience. We shared pictures, stories and even a video! Thanks for all of your support!!!! It's exciting to see what becomes of the next trip. Keep visiting back for updates.

Indo Sharing

Saturday, September 12 @ The Charnwood House 1:30 p.m. Stories, pictures, desserts and drinks! Stop by to hear about our latest trip (all of the things we didn't mention on our blogs). We'll also have cards and handmade bags available, created by the families of Rujak Berkah, the after-school program where we taught. (Cash or checks only) Feel free to bring a friend too!

See Beautiful: The Book

share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0Aas2bVk3ZN2TlQ

4 Stamps

Here's what the latest addition to my passport looks like. 4 stamps (an and out of Hong Kong and Indonesia + visa on arrival for Indonesia.

Stretched and Stretched Out

We checked out of the Surabaya (Indonesia) airport hotel at 5:30 this morning.  We flew to Hong Kong and then to Los Angeles.  After 24 hours of travel time through multiple time zones, we returned to California at 2:30 in the afternoon.  It was super great to have Garett and Danny eagerly waiting for us upon arrival. We were all looking forward to coming home.  But I think each one of us thoroughly enjoyed our time in Indonesia.  I'm excited to reconnect in a few weeks to hear and share more stories.  I hope you will join us. I have been stretched in my leadership and its responsibility and have simply enjoyed being surrounded by laughter along the way.  Sarah's dream of teaching photography in Indonesia came to life.  Rose saw shooting stars in Bali.  Michelle's passion and long-awaited vision of teaching art to kids overseas was affirmed. I can now unpack, do laundry and sleep - not curled up in a seat.  We will all enjoy our showers, our beds and the comfort of family and friends a little more than the usual tonight.  Thanks for sending us!

Bali Face

It's our final day in Bali.  We'll spend some time painting on the beach and doing projects with the kids before we leave.  We all miss the kids in Malang. I'm being stretched, but am reminded, ever so gently, of grace.  I'm really enjoying this team!  We'll be on our flight home tomorrow morning.  Thanks for remembering us - we can feel the difference!

Extrovert

We've been talking about whether people are extroverts or introverts.  Tonight, my extroversion is clear.  We had friends and their kids come over for dinner.  Super fun!  Then Kaylor, Donny, Hannah and Betsy came over with Clara, who's now 18 months old, talking and walking! They all left by 8:30 and I feel more energized than I have in the past week!  I'm sure jet lag is finally wearing off - just in time to return back to LA in a few more days. The Kaembas brought over lalapan (fried eel and chicken with cucumber, basil and sambal (chili sauce)).  It was super delicious and one thing I wanted to eat while here.  It was great and almost tastes like french fries - crispy batter really. We had a great day with the kids and here is my highlight: Michelle D. taught the kids how to play 'heads up 7 up'.  As a kid, I hated this game because I didn't always get picked.  But we taught the kids to hold up their thumbs, close their eyes and wait for their thumbs to be tapped.  If their thumb was tapped, they hid it in their fist.  When we called 'heads up 7 up', the children with 'missing thumbs' would stand up and guess who tapped their thumb! Arif choose me and I was super surprised that I guessed accurately!  When it was my turn, I choose Sheva.  He was super excited to have been chosen and even did a little sitting dance!  It was super precious!  He did guess correctly too, but seeing his sheer excitement of being chosen was simply my favorite moment of the day.  And there have been many super great moments today!   There have also been disappointing moments.  Like the moment when I realized that I didn't have the house key - and neither did my housemates.  We were only locked out for about an hour, but it was a bit self-disappointing/frustrating because I hadn't checked that I had the key prior to leaving the house, nor had I made earlier arrangements for us to get back in. Our helper was home when we left, and she locked up before we returned.  Not having a cell phone, I had to walk to a friends house, call a list of people, and finally we got ahold of someone who could get ahold of our helper (who also doesn't have a phone).  She graciously stopped by to unlock the door (in which I had broken our key just a few days ago!)  We made it into the house 2 minutes before our dinner guests arrived. And well, if anything, it gives me stories to write home about.  Enjoy!

The Tapestry of our Lives

We just spent the day with the staff of Rujak Berkah, Polehan.  We visited 2 temples, which are super fun to climb, and had lunch and dinner with them.  Personally, it was so great to be back with them! We shared stories of how each person got connected.  It's an impressive tapestry of how our lives have all come together for this week.  And tomorrow we will begin our first day at our second, creative arts camp!   Each day, our time with the kids will be 2 hours long, which will be divided into two, one-hour sessions: Session 1: K-1 Dance (Naomi and Sharon) 2 Creative Writing (Sarah, Crista, and Jennifer/Juliana) 3 Fine Art (Michelle L., Wenny/Juliana) 4-5 Engineering/Aerodynamics (Rose, Michelle D., Wenny/Juliana) Session 2: K-1 Fine Art 2 Engineering/Aerodynamics 3 Dance 4-5 Creative Writing

Camp 1: Complete

The kids: Each person on our team has found something beautiful about various kids we've been teaching.  I'm actually fascinated by this. Daniel knew my name.  (He kinda reminds me of how my older brother looked when he was a kid, or when my nephew Frankie was younger - olive skin, hair cut just above the eyes and huge brown eyes.)  Connor's favorite class was card making.  Emily helped her brother to ask for candy when he didn't receive any - and he totally didn't act like a brat when he hadn't received one.  When he did, he was gracious to receive it.  Delon and Jeffrey were 'delinquent' kids who always remembered to say, "Thank you."  And whom I apparently bonded with over bugs crawling on the ground.  And Hannah and Sam are 7-year old twins who are brilliant, polite, and can draw Power Rangers! Carmen talks like an adult.  When she took another girl's piece of ribbon, and was called on it, the first sentence we heard out of her was, "What does it matter?"   Sassy, I tell you. C: I think we all wish that we had more time to have deeper conversations to get to know these kids.  Abigail's favorite color is blue.  And the older kids all came back to pick up their canvases.  As fascinated as they all were with our classes, is probably how fascinated we are with them... The key: Today, I broke the key in the front door.  It's Saturday and there is a holiday on Monday.  I hope we can get a locksmith or the garage door key before Tuesday...

We are in Indonesia!

It's so great to be back!  Pulling into the city where I lived only a year ago, it's refreshing to return. Luggage: After arriving at LAX with an abundance of luggage, we were able to strategically repack.  With help from our family, friends and the counter clerk, we only had to pay $100 for the overage - which, for everything we brought, was a miracle! Our luggage arrived without any problems - and we were able to cram it all into the car. Arriving: We arrived at our house at 11:30 p.m.  Ibu Ririk, our house helper, left us a welcome note on the table.  We all had a great night of sleep the first night. Health: Rose got sick while we were at Hong Kong.  She picked up a virus and is slowly recovering.  (Thanks to my friend Mei, we don't have to panic.)   She's on a BRAT diet and requested the 'coin treatment' - which our helper gracously did for her.  She rested yesterday and will continue to do so today.  She's in good spirits, but  we want her to be back to 100% so that she can teach with all of the energy that she brings. Day 1: We had Koko Krunch and Honey Stars for breakfast.  I took Michelle and Sarah on a short ride on the angkot to their language class.  While I waited, I visited Charis - where the teachers were having a ping pong tournament.  It was so great to catch up with Mexi, then to take a walk and catch up with Lelly.  I gave our groupd a tour of Charis and WIS to get an idea of where we will be teaching.  They said it was impressive. We met Naomi, Melissa and Melanie yesterday.  We enjoyed a feast of Indonesian foods for lunch, though, it took over 2-1/2 hours for delivery to arrive.  There were 10 of us at our house for dinner last night.  We enjoyed lasagna and salad - a treat for our friends who live here.  We've been sharing stories of how we got here.  It seems to be very encouraging for everyone. Day 2: We've been getting used to the little creatures, chee-chucks (a.k.a. geckos) in particular. Sarah, Michelle and Naomi are in language class as I write.  They had homework and are making it a point to practice. I met baby Musa, which means Moses.  His story is similar in that there are plans for him to be adopted.  He's now 6 months old. Jennifer and Juliana are shopping for 15 more canvases for Saturday's classes then will pick up Michelle and Crista.  Melanie and Melissa are exploring Malang, including the 'big market' and nearby temples. Our household (6) will have Indonesian curry for lunch.  Our program at WIS kicks off this afternoon with card making, ballet and music classes. Tonight, we will meet the entire group for dinner at Bunga Bali, a popular, western restaurant.  We will be about 30 people!  Thers is much to soak in, all over again.  It has been really good to begin and end each day together. I'll work on getting online from our house today.  It might just be possible if I can figure out which switched control what.

All of these boxes!

This week alone, I've received 9 boxes of books and supplies to take to Indonesia.  From Indiana, Kentucky, California, I'm surrounded by such generous people! All of this has now spilled into our living room and I'm strategizing to figure out how we're going to pack all of this, plus supplies for our creative arts camp at three locations! We've ordered 50 pounds worth of supplies for our fine arts section alone.  I'm super excited about the projects Michelle has for the kids! It's hard to believe that I have one week to handle all of the final preparations, including my own eating and sleeping management.  It's easy to push aside necessities when it gets down to the wire.  They seem so normal.

Passport Renewed

Yay!  I received my renewed passport via Express Mail today.  I had seen the new design of the passport, but now I have my own.  I am however sad that all of my used pages have disappeared.  The signs and marks of trips I've taken, or have attempted to take, all of the visas and country stamps that I received - gone. Simple pleasures.  Bittersweet.

The Story of an Elephant

Sarah, our creative writing teacher, wrote a story about an elephant. It climbed into a tree to gain perspective. I hope you'll take the time to read it. Let me know if you'd like me to send a copy. I would be happy to! I think you will be inspired by it. I think you might understand a little more about me too. I'm really glad that Sarah is coming to teach about writing stories. I can't wait to see her script writing come together.

Created to Create

Our team:

4 from Los Angeles

2 from New York

1 from Kansas

1 from Arizona

3 from Indonesia



Our visit:

July 13-28



Our theme:

Created to Create

Day 1: I am created from God's imagination

Day 2: I can create from my imagination

Day 3: I choose to create



Our passions:

Creative Writing

Fine Art

Aerodynamics

Cards & Crafts

Ballet

Music



Our destinations:

WIS. International school

Rujak Berkah. An after-school program in the slum neighborhood

Seeds of Hope. Children's home

Next Trip!

Going back to Indonesia July 2009. With a small group from Los Angeles and a couple friends and sisters of those living in Indonesia, we are creating an entire curriculum! Some possibilities we hope to offer are:

Fine art/Crafts

Ballet/Hula dancing

Aerodynamics

Cooking

Creative writing

Photography

Music



We are beginning to coordinate fundraisers. If you can help in anyway, please let me know. We will need donations for travel expenses and supplies.



In just a couple months, I've been watching 18 month old Christopher grow up. (I babysit him every Thursday night.) He can now correctly match shaped blocks in to their coordinating holes. He no longer eats cheerios out of his protective-from-spills cup. And he is beginning to talk: Bye, Clock and Four are his favorite words so far.



I can just imagine how much kids at Rujak Berkah have grown since the Fall. I am super excited to return to them!

Finishing 30

Finishing 30 years today. I'm enjoying a fairly usual routine. Christopher's arriving. C: Planning for a trip back to Indo in July. More event planning with loved ones here. Simply celebrating.

When a Plan Starts to Come Together

Or rather, when your dreams start to become actual plans... that is where I am.  After 6  months of anticipating a return back to Indonesia, it looks like a plan is forming.  It's taken a lot of patience for me not to let go of the dream.  It's not funny - how quickly it all snowballs together.  I wish I could plan months in advance, to know all of the ins and outs.  But life simply happens.  There's no way I could control it all, and there's no way I would be able to enjoy it to the fullest if I tried. For now, we're collecting donations of dry, watercolor paints and anticipate going to Indonesia at the end of July.  We're fundraising, yet again, and brainstorming for our 2nd Annual Creative Arts Camp in Indonesia.  Rujak Berkah, the "Fruit Salad" after-school program @ Polehan has grown.  They now include 15, 3-5 year olds.

Wading and Waiting

On Sunday, we announced to the families of KidsMosaic that I am
stepping up to coordinate for KidsMosaic Pasadena. This involves
babies through grade 5 at our 9:30 gathering. They say it's about
180 kids on any given week, though nearly twice as many on the actual
roster.

It's not a paying gig. So I'm still working multiple part time
jobs. This includes: the stationery store, private art classes -
traveling to their homes and nannying/babysitting. I've put my own
business aside for now. I've begun to pour more of that creativity
into wedding planning.

So far, we've settled on a date and location. I'm excited that we
will be able to celebrate under the night sky, on a rooftop in Los
Angeles. It will be a small, family wedding. We'll have orange and
white tulips. We'll have desserts.

For now, I'm trying to enjoy and challenge myself with where I am -
as opposed to where I'm headed. For now, I must remember that
everything I'm going through is not in vain. There is a plan and a
purpose. In that, I find solace. I eagerly await where I will be
living, what my job will entail, how I will pay bills, and what a
schedule will look like. But for now, I'm still wading in this murky
water, still waiting for a little more clarity and stability - still
walking by faith.

Refreshed

It's the tail end of Winter. My room is cold at night, but liberally
absorbs the warmth of sunlight throughout the day.

February was generally a cruel month. March has already proven a bit
more hopeful.

Job-wise, I'm in about the same predicament that I've been in since
the Fall: a handful of part-time jobs that simply pay the bills,
affording little leftover for luxury.

Rest-wise, I am finally finding my place and purpose for now. It's
refreshing and generally uneventful. But exactly what I need.

Even if it's just a few days or weeks of smooth sailing, I'll take
it! Moments even.

With a new pair of used cowboy boots, this Saturday I'll be dancing.
More on the story behind the boots later.

And then the plane crashed

So the day after the last post, the news came out about the plane that landed in the river, without casualty. "Passengers are rescued from US Airway Flight 1549 Airbus A320 jet after it crashed in Hudson River, New York." People still DO walk on water! The things God will do for me to know that He is listening...

Can someone just tell me what it's like to walk on water?

I've heard it's been done before, but I feel like it would simply
have to be a miracle. I feel like I keep sinking. I just can't seem
to let my foot simply rest without the feeling of solid mass
beneath. And so, instead, I hover in this place between flying and
walking on water. It's unstable, unsettling and nerve-wrecking all
at once. I'm hardly going anywhere without having to grab ahold of
something steady. Hardly able to move forward and scared to let go
of everything I think I know. Lucky thing I've gotten used to the
waves, at least that they clearly exist.

A Glimpse of My World

I was born in America.
My ancestors are Chinese.
My brothers claim we're part Irish.
My kindergarten class was bilingual, English and Spanish.
I discovered my passion in India and Benin.
I speak Indonesian, but apparently with a Korean accent.
My fiancé is German, Czechlosovakian, Cherokee,...
My cousin's moving to Turkey.

And in the middle of all this, I still feel lost. I've been back for
6 months now. Maybe it's phase 3 of readjusting: hating everything.
It's the new year. I'm supposed to be rejuvenated to have a fresh
start. Only, I find myself more disappointed, more unclear, and
more unsure about what's next.

When you've had one of the best, most thrilling parts of your life
come, well, to life, what's next?